Lesson 08 — Being a Good Listener

Learners practice giving a friend their full attention — in whatever way their own body listens best — and discover that listening is how we learn what a friend feels and needs.

D02 P1: Emotional & Social Awareness D02.S2 45 minutes Draft

Objectives

D02.S2.K.01 Describe how a friend or story character might feel in a simple situation.

Essential question

How do I listen so a friend feels heard?

listenattentionwaitcalmshowheard

Materials

Standard materials

A "talking object" (a shell, stick, or ball) · 1 Whoever holds it is the one speaking
Feeling face cards · 1 set To point to how the speaker might be feeling

Low-tech / no-cost

Voice and body Practice giving attention — eyes toward the speaker or away, hands still or busy — with no props
A found object as the talking stick A stone or twig that marks whose turn it is to speak

Enriched / lab & device

A pair of soft headphones (pretend or real) · 1 set To make the idea of "listening" playful and visible
A recording device · 1 Learners record a short "how I feel" message and practice listening back

Works in different contexts

large-group Pass one talking object so only one voice is heard at a time; the group practices giving attention together
self-directed A learner asks a family member "how do you feel today?" and practices listening without interrupting
outdoor-only Practice listening to nature first — birds, wind, water — then to a friend, with calm bodies
multi-age An older learner tells a short story while younger ones practice giving attention, then retell one thing
level-grouped Learners who are ready retell what a partner said; others practice just waiting and showing they heard

Two children face each other; one holds a talking shell and speaks while the other gives calm attention, with two insets showing different ways to listen — with eyes closed, and by watching face and hands.

Lesson 8 — Being a Good Listener

Summary

Learners practice giving a friend their full attention — each in the way their own body listens best — and learn that listening is how we come to understand what a friend feels and needs.

Objectives

Describe how a friend might feel by listening carefully to them. (D02.S2.K.01)

Connection

Listening is how we learn what is inside another person — their joy, their worry, their need. When you stop, give your attention, and let a friend finish speaking, you give them a gift: the feeling of being heard. Good listening is kindness you do with your whole self.

Materials

A “talking object” (a shell, stick, or ball)
Feeling face cards

Preparation

Choose a talking object to mark whose turn it is to speak.
Arrange pairs and a circle.
Have feeling face cards ready for guessing.

Facilitator note

This lesson is written to the learner (“you”) so it works in a classroom and for a self-directed learner. As facilitator, model attention yourself and narrate it: “I am turning toward you and giving you my attention; I will let you finish.” Say the important part aloud: different bodies listen differently. Some keep their eyes on the speaker, some look away or close their eyes to hear better; some keep their hands still, some need to move a little. No one way is more correct — what matters is being present and letting the speaker finish. Never insist on eye contact or a fixed posture: in some cultures and for some autistic learners, looking away is listening. For learners who listen with their eyes (sign language or lip-reading), “listening” means watching the speaker’s face and hands — honor that as full listening too. Keep speaking turns short at this age — one sentence is plenty.

Procedure

Gather (5 min). What does it feel like when someone really listens to you? What does it feel like when they don’t? Today we learn to be the kind who listens.
What listening looks like for you (10 min). A good listener gives a friend their full attention. Different bodies listen differently: some keep their eyes on the speaker, some look away or close their eyes to hear better; some keep their hands still, some move a little. What matters is: be present, don’t interrupt, and let them finish. Find the listening body that works for you.
One turn at a time (10 min). Pass the talking object. Only the one holding it speaks or signs; everyone else listens (with ears or eyes). Say or sign one true thing: “Today I feel…”
Listen and guess (15 min). As your partner speaks, give them your attention — watch their face and body, or just listen with your ears, whichever helps you. After, point to a feeling card or say: “I think you feel happy.” Ask them — were you right? Then swap.
Close (5 min). Remember: listening is how we understand a friend’s heart. Give your attention, let them finish, and show you heard. That is the gift.

Differentiation

Support: Practice listening for a very short turn (one word or a wave) before longer turns.
Extension: After listening, learners retell one thing their partner said, to show they heard it.

Assessment

Formative (observation): Can the learner give a speaking partner their attention (in any posture) and name how that partner felt?
Artifact (portfolio): A drawing of “a good listener” — however the learner pictures listening.

Resources

CASEL SEL Framework (foundational competencies): https://casel.org/fundamentals-of-sel/

Home connection

At home, ask someone “how are you feeling?” and practice listening with your whole self. Then tell them what you heard.